Letter One: "I was 17, 2 months pregnant, and I had just begun my senior year in high school."

            I was 17, 2 months pregnant, and I had just begun my senior year in high school. My boyfriend had bought two at home pee stick tests when we first thought I might be pregnant. The second test was at Planned Parenthood in East Austin. Both times my boyfriend was excited about being a father. I, however, was terrified at the thought of bringing a life into this world. What was I going to do? Would my parents kill my boyfriend? Would I have any support? Various things were running through my mind. The only sexual education I had was in 6th grade when our parents had to sign a permission slip for us to attend the class.  The class used scare tactics with frightening and gross pictures of various STIs and information about how depressing our life would be if we got an STI or pregnant at a young age or out of wedlock in general. My parents did not really talk to me about sex. My mother was not the most inviting person to talk about anything; let alone to even think about saying “Hey mom I’m having sex can I have birth control?”  I come from a Catholic family and my mother went and still is very active within the church community, she had even been many of my classmates’ Sunday school teacher. When I told her she told me I should consider an abortion and then when we went to the doctor she was singing a different tune about how we were Catholic and I would be keeping the baby. My boyfriend’s family is Catholic also and at first his Mother and Step-father offered to pay for an abortion. My boyfriend and I were under a lot of stress to say the least and yet was ultimately my decision to make. I wanted to keep my child however hard it may be and regardless of how many bad looks I would get from anyone and everyone.  As I began to show a few people had asked if I was interested in giving my child up for adoption and I thought it was very rude of them to ask. Keep in mind these were people who were looking for someone like me who was young, and would struggle or be incapable of supporting a child, and they were people who could have and give the child almost anything in the world, but were unable to conceive.  While I could see it from their perspective, I felt as though I was judged all the time. Some even offered me money, and while I know there are some in my situation who would have taken it I felt as though it was wrong. Like selling my child as some are sold in third world countries. 

            The summer before my senior year I had decided I was not going to go into college right after graduation. I had been a honor roll student, vice president of NHS, an athlete, and involved in many other school organizations. However, these things were always expected of me and my parents were never satisfied. When I found out I was pregnant I decided college was my only option, and because I was an outstanding student this made the application and acceptance process fairly easy.  My mindset was that I had to show my child that anything is possible and that I did not give up on my future goals just because I was a teen mom. The high school I went to was and still is pretty familiar with teen parents. I went to [redacted]. Not only was this school familiar with teen-parents, but there was a whole program for them and it has been improved over the last few years. I did not participate in this program, because I was in the work-release program, and I need all of my other classes to graduate. However, the parenting instructor was also my work-release teacher, and she kept up with everything.  I talked to her more than my own mother, and I had found other programs outside of the school to help that fit my schedule. Any Baby Can is a facility with, I believe, two locations in Austin that helps young and low income pregnant women and their families. The person assigned to me would meet whenever and wherever as they are supposed to make it as convenient for us as possible.  She taught me about how my body and the baby would develop during each trimester. She offered information about doctors, food stamps, WIC, housing, day care, paying for school, transportation, almost anything that I might or would need. She even asked if I would need thing for the baby such as crib, car seat, etc. Also as a participant in the program I was able to attend Lamaze classes for free. My boyfriend participated in each session when he had time, and came to Lamaze with me. He was supportive and eventually his family and mine were as well. Yet my mother still will never let me live it down that I was pregnant at seventeen.  My teachers were on both sides. Some thought I was not being serious when I said I was going to college at UT, and others thought of course she is she is an outstanding young woman. I feel that support in any way is lacking for women who experience an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. The last thing they need is to be ridiculed or judged for the situation they are in and the decision that they make. There are many programs that offer support and will educate these women, but sometimes there are certain qualifications, which may be discouraging. Many of the programs I was in was because I came from a low income family and I was young.  Information about any aspect of these situations should be easily accessible and available.

            I am now 20 with a two and half year old. I am third year English major and I am in the UTeach program. I will graduate in May 2012 and I hope to begin my career as a High School English teacher soon after.  My boyfriend and I have been together since our freshman year in high school and we have had many troubles throughout our relationship. Regardless, we are both there for our daughter. I have talked to many girls who are young mothers and want to pursue a higher education, but are worried about many things, which is understandable. There is a solution to any situation however difficult it may seem. My best advice would be to hold your head up high and not let people get the best of you. Do what you feel is right and think about how you want that to affect you in the long run and look at it in a positive light. There are many people out there to help and talk to and believe me it helps to know you are not alone, and in some cases it helps to share your experiences with others.